I am going places.

December 26, 2023, marked my last working day at MSTC Ltd and since that day I have been on the road.

 

I resigned from my full-time, well-paying government job to travel across our beautiful country. I am doing this road trip on my trusty and powerful companion – my Royal Enfield Interceptor 650. We plan to visit as many places, meet as many people, and take as many pit stops as possible.

 

This trip will be at least a year long, and may take even longer; India is a vast country. I'll be sharing my journey on all social media platforms in formats that suit each one.

 

I will keep posting the details and experiences of my road trip from time to time, but this post is about why I felt the need for this break; and why I felt the need to resign from my full-time job to travel. This may seem like a dream road trip, and believe me, it is. But it's also a big decision. Even two months in, there are moments of doubt, I still feel scared of the future. We’re not wired that way, letting go of our financial safety to jump into a life with no positive cash flow, survive on our savings and travel frugally; two months later, sometimes it still feels like a stupid decision.

 

Perhaps I'll never definitively say it's the best decision of my life, but deep down I hope it turns out to be what I envisioned – a chance to discover myself and create lasting memories. I want to see who I become.

 

On a funny note, the next time someone tells you “तुमने दुनिया नहीं देखी (you haven’t seen the world)”, tell them, “that’s why I AM GOING PLACES!😁”.

En route Jaipur to Delhi. (December 2023).

Near Hamirpur, Himachal Pradesh. (January 2024).

Essay: Analysis of Inadequate Sanitation Infrastructures and Understanding Good Practices

Abstract

Although our rural and urban areas are suffering from inadequate sanitation infrastructures, one successful solution can be conducting extensive behaviour change campaigns to involve citizens in the development of such infrastructures. Building facilities for safe water and sanitation alone will not be sufficient in a country like ours.

Introduction

Our cities and rural areas are facing multiple crises due to inadequate sanitation infrastructures in our country. To clearly understand what this means, let us first broadly categorise them under Rural and Urban. A simple sanitation chain needs to collect and isolate human waste, safely transmit this waste, and then treat this waste before reusing it or letting it out in the environment [1]. It can be fairly assumed that in urban areas a sewer system exists but it is not robust enough to fight the growing population density of the areas. There are various health issues noticed in the poor sections of urban areas i.e. 50 million people who don’t have access to proper sanitation arrangements and the improper management of the solid & liquid waste has been polluting land and water bodies. According to a study done in 2008, only 30% of India’s population had access to improved sanitation practices. This increases the cases of open defecation among the poorest strata of society. When it comes to livelihoods, the urban poor also bears the highest per capita income losses due to inadequate sanitation [2]. 

In the rural areas, it is found that technology spreads faster than information and understanding and the implication of such technology. According to a UN report [3], more people have access to mobile phones than toilets in India. For a very long time, both household and community toilets in rural areas, have been using septic tanks; a technology prevalently adopted from urban areas. The cleaning mechanism of a septic tank is not suitable for rural areas mostly because of two reasons – lack of sewage systems and lack of cleaning service providers via mechanical extraction. Hence, septic tanks ended up discharging the water waste outside the houses which leads to stagnation and diseases.

This lack of adequate sanitation infrastructures as well as unsafe practices is a major cause of diseases like Diarrhoea, and other water-borne diseases, which have been fatal to children under five years of age globally. 

Scenario and Efforts

When we talk about the development of sanitation practices in rural areas, the Swachh Bharat Mission (SBM) strikes the mind. The mission, although launched in 2014, was a rebranded version of the Total Sanitation Campaign (TSC) and Nirmal Bharat Abhiyan (NBA) launched in 1999 and 2012 respectively. For the Phase-1, the Swachh Bharat Mission, administratively, has two arms – first, Swachh Bharat Mission-Grameen (SBM-G) under the aegis of the Ministry of Drinking Water and Sanitation and second, Swachh Bharat Mission-Urban (SBM-Urban) under the aegis of Ministry of Housing and Urban Affairs. SBM-G aims to eradicate open defecation in rural areas, create awareness about safe sanitation, and improve solid-liquid waste management practices in the long run. It is important to understand that only providing household/community toilets is going to work in rural areas, they also need to be educated about them. Rural areas are a close-knit social sector where the community bonding is still stronger than in their urban counterparts, hence, Community-Led Total Sanitation (CLTS) [4] models have been effective in generating awareness and motivating the citizens to construct toilets for themselves without using the Government subsidy. The Government had a provision of providing monetary support of Rs.12000/- per Individual Household Latrine (IHHL) to achieve the vision of Swachh Bharat by 2nd October 2019. However, the CLTS teams have been parallelly working closely with the rural population in educating and motivating them to build toilets for themselves and their families. Even when the district administration got many toilets constructed in the rural areas, using them did not become a regular practice for most people for a long time. Coming out of a decades-long habit of open defecation takes time, effort, patience, constant communication, and monitoring. Regular monitoring & evaluation, and running behaviour change awareness campaigns (print, audio-visual, plays, slogans, wall paintings etc) were widespread. Another crucial part of the rural sanitation supply chain was played by the twin pit pour flush toilets [5] invented by Shri Bindeshwar Pathak, founder of the Sulabh Sanitation Movement. This twin-pit pour-flush toilet technology does not require human intervention as compared to septic tanks with soak pits. 

The Swachh Bharat Mission-Urban teams focus on improving the sanitation chain in urban and semi-urban areas. In these areas the human excreta generated is not disposed of sustainably, thus impacting the health conditions of the urban poor, women, children, and the elderly, which covers more than 20% of the total urban population [6]. The age-old practice of manual scavenging is still prevalent, although the state administration, advocacy groups, and organisations such as Safai Karamchari Andolan have been instrumental in abolishing this custom to some extent. In Phase-2, we must concentrate on ODF+ i.e., operation and maintenance of community/public toilets and solid-liquid waste management. The twin pits used in rural sanitation programs help generate manure from human waste. From both, the urban and rural, sanitation points of view, solid waste (biodegradable & non-biodegradable) and liquid (black water and grey water waste) must be properly disposed of and composting & wastewater treatment technologies must be implemented. 

Conclusion

The fundamental goal of providing adequate sanitation infrastructures is to transform India into a hygienic, sanitised, and community-driven healthy rural and urban area. The on-ground development of better public and environmental health requires effective Information, Education, & Communication (IEC) campaigns for behaviour change and regular monitoring & evaluation of the quality procedures that are being implemented to align with the Sustainable Development Goals. More than 90% of India has toilets no and about 5lakh villages have been declared ODF, however, the task at hand is getting bigger. Efforts must continue to ensure the sustainability of our current sanitation infrastructures.

References:

1. Carr, R (2001), “Excreta-related infections and the role of sanitation in the control of transmission”, in L Fewtrell and J Bartram (editors), Water Quality: Guidelines, Standards and Health, World Health Organization/IWA Publishing, London, pages 89–114.
2. WSP-esi-india.pdf
3. Mobile telephones more common than toilets in India, UN report finds | | UN News
4. The CLTS approach | Community-Led Total Sanitation (communityledtotalsanitation.org)
5. Twin Pits for Pour Flush | SSWM - Find tools for sustainable sanitation and water management!
6. https://mohua.gov.in/upload/uploadfiles/files/NUSP_0.pdf
7. Urban sanitation in India: key shifts in the national policy frame - Kavita Wankhade, 2015 (sagepub.com)

My Lockdown Bhindi Recipe

01. Wash hands

02. Wash bhindi

03. Cut bhindi

04. Wash onions

05. Chop onions

06. Wash tamatar

07. Chop tamatar

08. Put oil on pan

09. Turn gas on low

10. Add jeera

11. Add onions, let them turn brown

12. Add tamatar

13. Add namak, mirchi, dhaniya, haldi powders

14. Sauté

15. Add bhindi and mix well

16. On low gas, let it cook

17. Cover the pan for a few mins

18. Open after some time and check if it is cooked

19. Smell it

20. Adore it

21. Click pictures

22. Send a pic to Maa
23. Upload it on Instagram

24. Turn off the gas

25. Serve with garam rotis
26. Drop me a Thank You

10 Things That Make Me Really Happy

Life is all about nikki nikki khushiyaan, so, here are some small things that make me really happy (in no particular order):

01. Getting perfect creases on a shirt

02. Favourite home-cooked food / Cooking in general

03. Overtaking other vehicles while cycling

04. Learning to play my favourite songs on Ukulele

05. Formatting my Phone and PC

06. Being there for people and helping them

07. When people laugh at my jokes

08. Racing elevators and escalators

09. Office desk filled with all kinds of stationery items

10. Practising MMA

Street Stories #1

January 14, 2019

On my trip to the grocery store today I met two school kids roaming around with their bag-packs. Now, 11:30 am is an irregular time for a 10-year-old kid to go to the park.

“They should be at school, what are they doing here?” I thought to myself. “Should I be bothered? Should I stop them?”


I really wanted to send them back to school. Bunking, however fun and exciting it may feel, is an addiction. Bunking is not cool.

I followed them to the park. They were not doing anything fishy, just riding the slides and playing catch-catch with a ball. Just two kids trying to enjoy the pleasant afternoon.

I decided to do something, “The least I can do is make them feel bad about it so they think twice before doing it again.”

“Aaj tum dono school kyun nahi gaye” (Why the two of you are not in school right now?), I said sternly.

They replied, “Jao apna kaam karo uncle”. (Mind your own business, Uncle)


I went ahead to buy my Coffee.

Waking up early morning is like a new relationship… Where your sleep is your ex!

My father always taught me that “नींद मनुष्य की सबसे बड़ी शत्रु है ” (English: Sleep is a man’s biggest enemy).

 He would scold us for not waking up early every morning while we rushed to get ready for school. I hated that. I just wanted to get back under my blanket, put a pillow in between my knees and call it a day.

I adored sleeping. Not a single day has passed when I didn’t start yawning right after dinner. Even today.

By the time I was 8 years old — I had started venturing into the science and secrets of ‘power-naps’.

Oh my god.

This all started when one morning I asked my elder brother if he could freshen up first. Until that day, I’d never realized the karma of polite requesting. Being sweet to my brother gave me 20 minutes of extra sleep. I repeat — 20 minutes — at 6:30 am; Yes! That’s how much I was in love with my sleep.

But as I grew old it hit me that there is more to humans, their love of sleep, and the horrible feeling of getting up early morning.

 You see, this scenario is quite similar to moving on from a relationship. I, for one, have avoided getting up early lot many times. I feel so have many of you.

 Relationships, like you all know, are worth staying in for, right? Especially when it’s the winter season. Nothing compares to the warmth inside a blanket and/or the warmth of your loved one wrapped around your body. Who doesn’t want that? I’m sure a person misses their loved ones the most during these 2–3 months each year. This is one of the most underrated feelings ever, of course, apart from that extra 5-minute sleep some mornings 😊

 But what happens when you have to wake up early in the morning? What happens when you have to move on from that relationship?

What do you do when you realize it’s not good for your body and they’re not good for your mind? What does a person do when the only place and person they sleep with doesn’t want to be with them anymore?

That feeling of being sleep deprived, broken, depressed, the sweat-pants phaseetc. is a horrible state. I will not even try to express it in words.

 You dread it.

You curse yourself.

You regret not spending more time together.

You regret overlooking the little things that mattered in the relationship.

You regret thanking your bladder for not disturbing you many nights.

You regret every extra useless hour spent on social media a night before.

You regret all the all-nighters you pulled for no genuine reason at all.

You understand the pain both of you are feeling and you tell yourself it’s going to be alright.

You keep telling yourself that it’s just a matter of a few more weeks.

It’ll be over soon. You’ll be a changed person.

You’ll start loving yourself again.

You curse yourself.

You miss them.

 Getting back together wasn’t really a good idea either. You weren’t able to chase your dreams like you always wanted. You need to be constantly reminded you took that selfish decision for a reason. You chose to suffer for your own good and your partner’s too. You were not moving forward and you knew it.

When it’s time, it’s time.

Not all things need to happen in steps and phases; some decisions need to be taken within a snap of the fingers. Remember, impromptu travel trips are the best. Whenever a person decides to go through their travel pictures, I guarantee that the first album they open will be some unplanned, out-of-the-blue trip they took with some friends.

Like any strong and determined person, you wake up early morning and decide to get your shit together. First, you fake it, then you own it.

 You will soon have reasons (and not excuses) to keep yourself away from the bed. Countless unread messages and hundreds of missed calls won’t bring you back. You would have started using that extra pillow to cuddle.

But, of course, you are a simple human being — you will be vulnerable. A distraction alone is not going to help. We all need something to keep us going. Something that makes our mornings like the beautiful feeling it once used to be.

You look for a rebound. You try to latch your affection on somebody else, something else.

 Coffee is your new-found love now.

The Girl With Yellow Lights

The Girl With Yellow Lights

Read Part-1 here: The Girl in Pink Sweater

__________________________________________________________

January 3, 2016

Mumbai

I'm sitting here in the boring room
It's just another rainy Sunday afternoon
I'm wasting my timeI got nothing to doI'm hanging aroundI'm waiting for youBut nothing ever happens and I wonder...

This New Year I had come up with a great resolution: No regrets, ever!

Being home alone in Mumbai, not doing anything, sucks. So I started going through my phone contacts. It's time to meet some people. I don't want to waste holidays. I came across 'the girl in pink sweater'. Oh, my god! It has been over a year since I met her.

"But after that awkward train journey will it be alright to call her?” I questioned my thought.

"Let's give it a try", said my solitude.

*ring ring* Please don't pick up. Please. Don't.

She finally answered my call. I mustered the courage to say hello. The voice on the other side was still beautiful. I introduced myself again (I, obviously, had to. I was calling her for the first time after that train journey). I asked her if she is free today because it's a great day to catch up with people. She was busy actually but agreed to meet. She said she'll figure out something.

Afternoon, after lunch

A friend had come over and we were just chilling in my empty room. Lying on the floor and getting senti on our college days. I texted her, as a reminder, whether she has figured something out or not. Otherwise, I will have to take the burden of planning the evening.

Got a reply after an hour.

*Hey I have to head out for work around 6.

  you can come over if you like.*

I was about to reply when my friend shouted "It will take you an hour to reach her place. Don't worry, I'll drop you. You call her right now"

So again I mustered the courage, again, and called her. I said I like the idea of coming over but where to exactly. She then sent me her address. We were on our way.

It usually takes 30-40 minutes to reach her area from my place. So that just gives me 20-30 minutes to spend with her. Before I could say anything, "Stop your calculations", my friend exclaimed. We took out the car. Started navigation. And the damn traffic! Moreover, the driver had no idea about the route.

Sunday evening everybody wants to enjoy a ride in the beautiful city. We were still struggling with the shortest route while we passed by Haji Ali. It was almost 5pm and the sunset near horizon looked mesmerizing. We stopped there for a while. I was just about to click a picture when I saw her text.

*hey, do you drink?*

"We're taking the Sea Link", my friend made that clear after glancing at the message.

Vehicles are not supposed to stop on the bridge but they can always be slowed down. And trust me when I say this, the scene was exotic at that time.

(I clicked this)

*Yes, when in good company :)*, I replied trying to sound cool.

*I've got some whiskey. Do you like whiskey?*, she replied back.

*On the rocks it is then*, I loved whiskey.

*Alrighty :)*

We managed to reach the other end of the bridge, away from the rush. Those wide roads, they gave me hope. I should buy something, maybe chocolates, I thought to myself. "Bhaiya, stop at a bakery shop if you come across one", I told the driver. I bought chocolate pastries.

Mumbai Suburbs are very congested. Small housing complexes squeezed together. Her address mentioned a park as a landmark. And no one near that bakery shop had ever heard of the park. I was getting frustrated. Not much time left. It was almost quarter to 6. I called her.

"Hey.. umm.. I'm kinda lost. Guide me."

"Where are you?"

"Near Citibank"

"Oh, that's close. If you're facing the bank entrance, follow the alley on your left. You'll reach the park. Turn left and voila".

"That was precise. Cool. I'll be there in 5"

I looked at my friend. I thanked him for the lift. He abused me in return. I told him not to leave for the next 5 minutes, I might come back soon. He abused me more.

"You dare chicken out", he warned.

5:50 pm @ her apartment

*ding dong* Please don't open. Please. Don't.

I was shit nervous. How should I greet her?

"Nice fancy door-bell. Oh, that's a really strong metal door. With a Godrej Lock. Wait, what if she has a dog? Dogs hate me. I hate them too. Don't get paranoid you idiot", I was murmuring, anxiously. So many thoughts at a time.

Focus. Focus!

I could hear the latches moving. There goes the first door. Now it's just the metallic one.

(It's common for flats in Mumbai to have two doors. Wood and Steel)

I saw her.

She looked beautiful. Hair left open. White T-shirt and denim. And yeah, no pink sweater.

"Hey, happy new year. This is for you", I handed over the pastries.

"Hey thank you so much. Come on in"

Her flat was neat. There was one long horizontal window facing the garden with a platform on the inner side occupied by small pillows. It reminded me of those side lower berths in trains. I wanted to sit there with her and enjoy the evening. But she had better plans. She kept the pastries on the platform, I took off my shoes and we headed towards her room. The floor was cold. En route she gave a little tour of the flat. Her flatmates' rooms, kitchen, washroom, tiles, colourful bulbs, The Beatles poster and finally her room.

"I should start maintaining my room like this. One less scolding from my mother", I thought to myself. Mattress on the floor, bean bag near the wall, dressing table on one side, full wall wardrobe, books, more books, posters and windows shut.

Interesting.

"Wow! Cozy room"

"Thanks, I too love my room. Make yourself comfortable. I'll be right back."

"Shit! This is a bad situation; Where should I sit, mattress or bean bag?", I was tensed. I didn't want my choice of seat to imply anything.

I heard her footsteps marching into the room. Come on dude decide, fast. It doesn't matter.

"What happened?", she asked.

"Nothing I was just admiring your room", I said while resorting to the bean bag.

She came and sat on the edge of the bed. I should have sat on the bed too. I cursed myself but the damage had been done.

Her room had the best setting. Fancy dim lights, soothing background music and humid Mumbai weather. Things were going well, she was talking to me.

"Keep the conversation interesting", I kept reminding myself.

We went through sharing some personal information, again, just to bring back the embarrassing previous encounter. I guess she enjoyed pulling my leg every now and then. Since she had to head out for work in some time, she frequently kept checking her phone. I, on the other hand, was staring at her walls looking for some radioactive spider who could just bite me and give me superpowers. All in vain.

"Dongri to Dubai: Six Decades of the Mumbai Mafia", I read out loud but slow enough to catch her attention. "Oh, you're an avid reader", trying my best to get her off from the phone.

"Yes, I love books"

"Nice", I said while keeping my phone on the floor.

"Wait, how did that happen?” she exclaimed.

(My phone's screen broke last year and the cracks have only increased since then. I use it as a conversation starter. Whenever I go out or meet new people it gives me footage. I don't ask for it. I'm broke so I could never get it fixed. Plus it works like a charm. Always.)

"It's nothing. Just another slim phone that keeps falling down. Nokia zindabad", I felt proud.

"Hahaha I too had a phone like that some weeks back but couldn't bear with it any longer"

"Oho, I pity you hahaha", followed some cheering moments.

"I need to use your washroom", I got up and started heading out of the room.

"It's right there", She called me back.

I turned around and she opened her secret closet.

"You have a secret closet", I exclaimed.

"Yes, this way to Narnia", She smiled.

"I'm coming for you White Witch", We both giggled.

6:30 pm, Post Washroom

I came out and sat on the mattress. I was sitting there facing her, looking through her classy frame into the deep brown eyes. She smiled while clearing her hair off her face, setting them properly so they don't block her sight again.

I looked down and saw a bottle of Chivas Regal-18 single malt whiskey, ice, water bottle and 2 wine glasses. I looked at the bottle and then I looked at her. I did this twice. Someone is really prepared.

“Waaoow. This must have cost you a fortune?” I exclaimed.

“Naah. My dad gets gifts and he doesn't drink. So...” she winked.

Without wasting much time I lifted the glasses. She popped open the cork and let the alcohol flow.

“Oye bass! This is too much for a peg”, I tried to stop her.

“Oh, I'm sorry. I'm an amateur. I seldom drink. I don't even like the taste.”

“Then why do you drink?” I asked.

“I love the 'tipsy' feeling”, she smiled while filing the rest of her glass with water. I followed with CHEERS!

We had some interesting conversations after that. We poured some more pegs. I made sure they were light this time. Alcohol makes you talk. And we talked for hours. We talked about our school lives, college experiences, her flat mates, previous flat mates, her hectic work life, love life and what not.

She studied history, then advertising and is fluent in 3 foreign languages. And now she is taking up a course in geography. Amazing. She had it all planned out. She freelanced for some time; been living alone in Mumbai for more than a year, paying her own bills. I know it's not simple as it looks but she had a life and I really appreciated that.

Let’s not talk about me.

It got dark in some time so she suggested we turn off the tubelight and plug in the yellow lights.

It was all Yellow! The lights brought a different glow to her face.

(And it was all yellow)

As I was near the switch board I increased the fan speed too.

*gharrrr gharrrr gharrrr*, the fan made noises. I turned down the speed.

“Hey you're an electrical engineer, right? Why does this happen?” she asked.

WHAT THE FUCK! I felt like I'm in a viva again. I was tensed. I could not think of anything. Electrical machines have haunted me for a very long time now. I was laughing at my fate inside. But on the outside I was calm. There is one thing that I've become good at...'beating around the bush'.

“So, domestic fans have single phase induction motors...and...” I blabbered shit like a pro for 2-3 minutes. I think she bought it. Well, even if she didn’t, it was really nice of her not to embarrass me.

*Phew! Bach gaya*

I changed the topic, quick like a bullet.

“Do you know how to ask for beer in Danish?” I asked.

“No”

“Yay vil geh-neh heh en url!”, and we both burst out laughing.

“You can order-in a beer if you want”, she said.

“Do you want one?”

“No I don’t like beer. I can bear scotch/whisky because I like the high. But I never liked beer.”

“WHAT? HOW CAN SOMEONE NOT LIKE BEER?” I almost shouted. The glass fell off my hand (not really).

“Easy there boy, I know it’s an acquired taste. It’s not like I haven’t tried, I just didn’t like it”, she shrugged.

*ding dong*

One of her flat mate had come back home. She is either a fashion designer/photographer or singer, I don’t remember. She came in said hello and headed straight to her room for a nap.

9pm, after her friend went for a nap

“You know, my flat mate once kept a puppy and…”

“Wait… What? There is a dog in here? I don’t like dogs”, I panicked.

“WHAT? HOW CAN SOMEONE NOT LIKE DOGS?”

“I don’t mind dogs, but they keep giving me these terrifying looks. They also bark sometimes. Please tell me your friend doesn’t have a puppy in her room”

“Hahahaha no. But don’t worry I’ll keep you safe”, she said comforting me. “Do you want to eat something?”

“I’m not that hungry. Hey let’s eat the cake I brought”, I suggested.

We headed out of the room, after a long time. It felt like we were in there for a century, I didn’t even realize it was 9pm.

We sat beside the garden-facing-window, eating that cake. Feeling content.

I got up, phone (check), wallet (check), watch (check). Time to go home :(

“Hey I think I should leave now. You have work to do and I've wasted your entire evening”, I said while wearing shoes.

“Nah it’s alright. It was an evening well spent. I really enjoyed your company”, she said.

I bent forward to hug her. I’m glad she understood the gesture. I felt her hair between my fingers, soft as silk.

"Pull away your hand slowly, girls are very possessive about their hair", I reminded myself.

Well now, I don’t know whether I’ll ever meet her again. With lives changing at every step it gets difficult to be in touch with old friends let alone new ones.

But I hope she remembers me for those awkward and great times we spent. I hope she remembers me, for everything.

And I hope she give me a chance to write a part-3 to this story.

Until then, see you around folks!

- tawanug

The Girl In Pink Sweater

What is the first 'to-do' while travelling alone by train?

Yes you got it right, check for fellow passengers around your seat. Since my bad luck has always been super sexy I don't even bother to check the reservation list these days; because I have always been surrounded by uncles and aunties. The only added advantage they give me is of taking my lower seat in exchange of their upper one. Great, can’t get better. The upper berth is secluded, away from any disturbance where I can sit and enjoy my silence.

23rd December 2014

I was to travel to Jaipur from Mumbai via Gareeb Rath express. Having come from Goa late that night, this was the only train available which leaves at noon and reaches Jaipur at 7 next morning. Also the route which it follows is new for me. It goes from Surat - Vadodara - Ahmedabad - Mt. Abu - Ajmer - Jaipur. I tried a lot to reach the station 10 minutes prior to the scheduled departure. But I couldn't. I remember I was somewhere near G10 when the train departed. Hurriedly I hopped on.

I knew my seat G3 36, "Side upper! Great." I said to myself. The seat beneath mine was along the window; where you could lie down with a pillow on back rest and enjoy the beautiful view if it was empty. I started walking towards my coach. Lastly I entered a fully packed coach. While passing along the aisle I couldn't resist noticing so many people in the compartment, reminded me of my school days how we used to go on vacations. Amidst all this somehow I managed to reach my berth. Seated below was a girl, shocked, I didn't stop and went straight out from the other end.

"Bhaiya, G3 hai na yeh?" I asked the attendant.

I knew I'm not that lucky.

Deep down I wanted him to say yes yes this is G3 only.

"Nahi bhai, G3 do coach choddke", he said.

I must have lost count. Feeling devastated I moved forward 1..2..3.. G3. I went straight to my berth slid my bag under it and sat down waiting for the TC so that after getting my ticket checked I can rest for some time. Sitting there waiting, gazing outside the window with my headphones plugged in I noticed a bag pack on the berth. Within a few minutes my co-passenger came.

Whoa! It was a girl. For a moment I started doubting my bad luck. FYI Gareeb Rath has 3 berths on the side and 6 inside. This made me believe that someone else would be around too. I was killing myself inside for not checking the reservation chart, at least that could have reduced my anxiety and I would have known her name. With no other option to go with, I sat there itself while she was sitting on the other end of the seat. Being the type of guy I was, I relied on my music for the whole journey.

After half an hour later upon blinking I noticed her palm right in front of my face trying to get my attention.

“Hey..umm.. Yours is the upper berth, right? Do you mind if I lie down for some time?” she requested.

Seriously speaking, it took me some time to come to senses. It was such a beautiful voice, and was going on repeat in my head.

I didn't want her to go, 

I wanted her to stay.

I wanted to talk to her, throw away my shyness, and build up some confidence.

I wanted to tell her the pink sweater was suiting her and how cute her colorful socks were.

"Oh sure, no problem", I smiled back. I punched myself inside for being such a loser; must have slapped a hundred times too. She climbed up and the gentleman inside me helped her with her stuff. 

“Where are you headed?” I somehow gathered the courage to ask her with a smile on my face.

"Jaipur", she smiled back.

Nothing interesting regarding her happened for the next 3 hours. Just that she was lying on the seat above. I was sitting down with my headphones plugged in. There was an extended family sitting in front of us. I tried passing some time, getting down at every station and having a stroll.

Watching the group in front have fun, I even noticed a few other guys trying to get a glimpse of her. Haha. I high-five'd my luck.

Jumping to 6pm

Vadodara had just passed; the extended family was still there with two of those sitting beside me. I was tired of sitting by now. I got up to freshen up and she came down.

Talking to myself, I thought, what the odd are… I still followed my mind. I won't be able to focus if I am not fresh. After coming back I had two options, either sit between her & the guy from the extended family or find some other place. I didn't want to go up. I found a place to rest my ass. And to pass some time started talking to a friend on my phone.

I told him about the cute girl who was sitting on my seat. He tried convincing me into talking to her, telling me not to be a gentleman, just ‘be a man'. And how convenient was it for him, sitting miles away and just saying stuff, asking me to do something that was no less than a herculean task.

I had lost hope and he knew his efforts are going in vain. So he requested me to read this on Quora:

https://www.quora.com/Why-do-some-women-fall-for-jerks-Why-do-some-women-prefer-dating-jerks-bad-guys-over-nice-guys/answer/Miraz-Zaidi

First of all this answer was just perfect. This guy should be given a medal. Take a bow Mr. Miraz Zaidi, take a bow _/\_.

Having read this I questioned myself, "what does it take to be a jerk?"

I thought maybe I have a lot to lose, or May that's all just bullshit. I hardly know this girl, what on earth I will lose!?

Rubbish.

For the next hour I tried making eye contact. But no success, she had her eyes stuck to her phone.

The train slowed down, I looked out it was Ahmadabad. I got down thinking over the strategy I had been working on since some time.

Should I approach her or not.

Can I be a jerk or not!

What will she think if I approach her... A jerk or a despo?

What will she think of me if I don't approach her… A gentleman or a loser?

I was more disappointed after coming back. She was sitting there with her laptop on, probably watching House, I didn't observe closely. So a loser it is. I cursed myself again, she had been siting there alone with no one to talk to for quite some time and there I was, a loser, working on strategies.

Waah beta!

Tumse na ho paayega beta.

Since my laptop was not in a condition to be out in public, I messaged my friend, told him the situation. Cases like these being his forte, I could consider his advice.

After ignoring the first 10 messages (he had to abuse me, I deserved it),

"Be a jerk. Go and talk to her, bitch. You have nothing to lose and trust me you'll regret not talking in the morning when you'll part ways. Go you can do it", he shouted.

I was in dilemma; I knew what to say and what all to talk about. It was easy to be a jerk. I just didn't have the guts to go up to her. I needed a spark and with that I could have burnt the whole forest down.

But I kept it all to myself.

Loosing hope I climbed up to my berth quietly took out my headphones and got lost. It was 10pm when I woke up. She was still sitting down there, writing something. Looked like a letter, I didn't bother as I couldn't make out anything.

She had a nice handwriting though.
I again thought of gathering some courage, at this time most people are asleep, this can be a good chance of knowing more about her. Whom am I kidding, I dozed off. I had to wake up before 7.

Morning 6am

I got down, freshened up. Packed my stuff sat down with my phone in my hand.

"You have this one hour to get over your shyness, get over your fears. Don't be an introvert. Talk to people. She is just a girl, she is not gonna eat you up. Go Mingle!", I whispered.

"So you too are headed to Jaipur?", she asked with a beautiful morning smile on her face.

And I was dumbstruck again. I was laughing in my head like an idiot. I thought what's wrong with this girl why is she making conversation with me!? Is she crazy!? Hahahaha. It was tough to control.

"Oh yes", I kept my calm not showing how happy I was.

Amazingly 10% of my job was done. She'd sparked me up. Now it was time to burn down the forest.

I asked her name.

We shook hands.

And we kept talking about all random things.

We entered Jaipur junction at 7.20am, before getting up I asked her for her number.

"Sure why not. Definitely", she said.

I reached home spent the whole day with family.

The next morning I texted her

*Hey

Merry Christmas. :)*

Two days have passed, she hasn't replied since as yet. And here I am writing this post hoping you all enjoyed reading about this loser's attempts.

Talking to a female stranger. Check!

Befriend them. Check!

"And remember, you better be a jerk and talk, because remember, you've got nothing to lose."

Oh wait. She just replied ☺

Wish me luck.

PS: To read the next part to this story. Click here: The Girl With Yellow Lights

- tawanug

Hope in the silence

" तेरी आँखेँ "

असर जो तेरी आँखोँ का यूँ हुआ मुझ पर,

हर लम्हेँ को कैद करना चाहा मैँने,

प्यारी सी मुस्कान से लेकर खूबसूरत उदासी तक,

तेरी हर अदा पर फिदा हो जाना चाहा मैँने,

नज़रोँ को तूने जो उठाया ऐसे,

कि हर ग़ालिब घायल हो गया,

नज़र-अंदाज़ ना कर सका मैँ उन नज़रोँ को,

और खुदा का यह बंदा भी ग़ालिब बन गया,

तेरी आँखोँ मेँ काजल की वो लकीर,

काले बादलोँ से भी गेहरी थी,

माथे पर थी वो लाल बिँदी,

जिसकी चमक सोने से भी सुन्हरी थी,

कान के झुमके तेरे ऐसे,

रंगीन जैसे मोर के पँख,

छन छनाने कि उन्की आवाज़,

सुनके समा गया मेरा तुझमे कन कन,

प्यारी सी थी तेरी नाक कि नथिनी,

जैसे शगुन का काला टीका,

और ऐसा दीवाना बनाया इन सब ने मुझे,

कि अब सारा सँसार लगने लगा है फीका,

फिर भी एक जगह से नहीँ हटी मेरी नज़र,

और वो थी तेरी खूबसूरत आँखेँ,

असर जो तेरी आँखोँ का यूँ हुआ मुझ पर,

हर लम्हेँ को कैद करना चाहा मैँने...

- tawanug